I know I’m not the only one, but I have times when a day is so “busy” I can hardly remember what I’ve done in it, which end is up; times when I wish I slow down the pace of life so I can take a deep breath and take stock. Sometimes I wish I had the time and the energy – at the same time – just to chew on an idea that’s been floating in and out of consciousness. I want to step out of “regular time” with all that “has to be done” and be in a different kind of time, in which I can just Be.
I do have those moments – when I remember to make time for them, when I am willing to let go of what I have become convinced are “have-to-dos”. They give me a sense of connection to all that is; touch the infinite. In these moments everything is whole and balanced, (sometimes it’s called ‘kairos’ time)*. You probably have them too. That quiet of the very early morning, sitting at night watching the stars, a child sleeping. It’s that moment at the end of yoga, the ‘resting’ pose. In kairos time, I remember, as a colleague once put it, that I am “a human Being, not a human Doing”.
Lots of images: compasses need to be re-calibrated to True North. Wilderness time to let go of distractions that hold one captive. Leaving a field fallow to give the land a chance to renew. Making Sabbath – a time to “do no work” – those chores that lead us into that go-go-go pace – and reorient to the vision of how the world could be if Compassion was our guiding principle for our actions. Steeping oneself in Living Water, being nourished by Bread of Life. A time to understand the holy message: Do not fear.
So this leave I am on is your gift to me of time away from “regular duties”. It am offered the freedom to make space for this kairos time. It’ll be like slowing down the merry-go-round – not because the ride isn’t enjoyable, but to see who else is on it, explore what other features there are, be fascinated by the tune of the calliope. A time to reboot, to nourish my spirit, mind and body which (like most other people) the run-of-life interferes with.
The “plan” is to ruminate on ideas I’ve only had a chance to skim; literally to chew on ideas that are trying to germinate. To renew some disciplines in order to harness my energy differently so I can use it more effectively in my service here. To clear out some of the physical and internal detritus that makes me feel separated from the Holy, that inhibits me (or at least makes me unsure and unsteady) “shining my little light” in a good way. To recalibrate to my call of being here.
You folks of Cornerstone have given me this gift of sabbatical time; I do not take lightly. I am profoundly grateful for this time to renew, to reboot, and be ready to come back to the work that I am called here to do. Thank you.
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*Mckinely Valentine has a great blog on “Kairos time”, which she describes as “the moment after you’ve inhaled and are just about to exhale”; check it out mckinleyvalentine.com/kairos
** Image from: wendybattino.com